Many times I hear parents saying they are fair because they give the same each of their children. That is laziness.
I remember the first birthday of my oldest daughter.
My wife and I wanted her to remember her first present. We figured the best way was to get to the store and let her pick her present. My wife walked to the girls section and as she discovered amazing age appropriate presents she said:
Look Lucila! Check this beautiful doll. Here, Big Baby that cries! .
We went like that until we exhausted all options for 1 year old girls.
Lucila looked all the things we showed but at the same time was peeping across the aisle.
What was she watching?
A big Duravit Truck.
Mom couldn’t believe. All this paradise dolls, tea sets, and she picked the truck!
But after some unsuccessful intents to convince her to leave the truck and get another gift, we finally let her get the truck.
It was bigger than her. She enjoyed playing with it. She put her dolls on the back of the truck to take them for a ride around the house. I sat her on the truck and push her around the patio while she laughed and asked to go faster.
When it was time to buy the first birthday present for our second daughter a truck was not an option. She loved talking on the phone, dolls and having tea parties. Her first present was a telephone with wheels which he used while walking around the house.
Fairness is not to give children all the same. But, to give each of them what they need and/or enjoy.
As parents, we need to be attentive to their particular needs. What they need is not always a material thing. Sometimes, it is just spending time with us.
Pushing the truck with them inside or to sit and pretend to drink the tea or eat that mud cake.
Don’t just buy all they ask or demand. It is easy to buy. Spoiled kids are a byproduct of just buying.
Play, talk and be engaged. In summary, spend time and get to know them.